It started well.
A lot of things do. Start well.
It’s why you keep going after all, right?, if something didn’t start well you’d just peace out.
So it started with interesting interactions back and forth. Texting doesn’t tell a lot of what could be great but this was fun and felt right.
Then there was the concert. Total Magic.
Then there was a trip to Duluth. A separate bubble of reality with attention, affection, and caring moments.
Then there was that one night with a shared playlist. It went everywhere and all the places.
Then there was silence.
Empty. Nothing. Quiet.
When the texts began again they were few and far between.
Then there was the hammock in the park. Underwhelming.
Then there was the meet up with friends. A separate bubble of reality with neglect, disregard, and indifference.
Then there was that one night with a shared conversation. It went everywhere and all the places. It made her think she should hold on. Perhaps?
Then there was her.
Waiting for him to text.
Waiting for him to show up.
Waiting for him to engage.
Waiting for what?
Waiting for that heroin injection of the start. Waiting for that feeling and craving the continuation of it.
When it starts well. The desire is for it to continue. Sometimes it doesn’t.
When he doesn’t call.
When he doesn’t share.
When he doesn’t touch you.
When you’re waiting for what felt good but it doesn’t any longer.
When you question your sanity for still being there.
Because you love yourself…
Peace out in Portland.
AKA. Say goodbye.
You got this.
You deserve not wondering if you’re enough.
Seek love within yourself. Dive deep. You will always find it there when you seek within. Seeking love outside of yourself will disappoint you and bring heart stress. No one will ever be able to love you as hard as you can love yourself.
When you take time for self-care.
When you spend time in your own presence.
When you feel good doing things you love.
When you dream and imagine your life and make it happen.
When you step into loving yourself and don’t wait for someone else to love you.